Can Military Couples Live Together? Understanding Policies and Challenges

by | Military Finance | 1 comment

Exploring a military relationship comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to living arrangements. You might be wondering if military couples can live together and what obstacles they might face. Whether you’re newly enlisted or a seasoned service member, understanding the policies and options available can make a significant difference in your relationship.

Military life often involves frequent relocations, long deployments, and demanding schedules. These factors can complicate cohabitation, but it’s not impossible. By knowing the regulations, benefits, and potential hurdles, you can better prepare for a shared life with your partner in the armed forces.

Understanding Military Couples’ Living Arrangements

Living arrangements for military couples depend on specific circumstances. Military policies can impact dual-military and single-servicemember households.

Exploring Dual-Military and Single-Servicemember Households

Dual-military couples, where both partners serve, may face unique challenges. Each partner could receive separate assignments, making co-location difficult. The military uses the term “join spouse” to describe policies designed to help dual-military couples stay together. But, not all requests get approved, and sometimes couples must live apart.

Single-servicemember households, where only one partner serves, face different obstacles. The non-military partner may move frequently due to PCS orders, impacting careers and stability. Military support services can help with relocation and housing, but adaptability remains crucial.

Policies for Permanent Changes of Station (PCS)

PCS orders dictate where servicemembers must relocate. The military tries to accommodate families, but operational needs take precedence. For married couples, the military often considers family units, but immediate relocations might separate partners temporarily.

Dependents receive allowances and benefits to ease the transition during PCS moves. These include housing stipends and assignment incentives, yet the process can be stressful. Planning and understanding PCS policies minimize disruption and support smooth transitions.

By exploring military regulations and staying informed about entitlements, military couples increase their chances of living together harmoniously even though frequent relocations.

Challenges Military Couples Face

Military life often imposes unique challenges on couples, affecting their living arrangements, emotional well-being, and relationship dynamics.

Deployment and Separation

Long deployments frequently strain military relationships. When one partner’s deployed, the other navigates daily life alone, handling both emotional and practical tasks solo. Communication can be erratic due to time zones and operational security, leading to feelings of isolation. Military spouses, for example, may face challenges maintaining normalcy for children when a partner’s away for extended periods. Homesickness and worry add to their stress. Military OneSource and similar services offer resources, but the separation’s toll persists.

Maintaining Relationships Over Distance

Military couples often maintain relationships over long distances due to separate postings. Regular relocations disrupt stability, making visits and quality time infrequent. Technology aids communication but doesn’t replace physical closeness. Couples use video calls, texts, and social media to bridge gaps, but time zone differences complicate interactions. Frequent moves impact career continuity and social connections, adding stress. Online groups and base community events can help military couples connect, yet the challenges of distance and change remain ongoing hurdles.

Benefits of Cohabitation for Military Couples

Being together can significantly improve the lives of military couples. Even though the frequent relocations, deployments, and career disruptions, living together offers emotional and practical advantages.

Emotional Support and Stability

Emotional support plays a critical role in sustaining military marriages. Living together provides daily opportunities for physical affection and shared activities, which boost intimacy and trust. Even simple routines like eating together or watching TV can strengthen emotional bonds. Frequent face-to-face communication helps in addressing concerns promptly, reducing misunderstandings and loneliness. These interactions build a stable, loving environment that eases stress and enhances overall well-being.

Financial and Housing Benefits

Military couples also gain substantial financial benefits from cohabitation. Shared living expenses like rent, utilities, and groceries significantly reduce individual financial burdens. Also, military housing allowances, like Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), get optimized when assigned to better family housing options. Access to on-base resources—commissaries, gyms, and medical facilities—further eases financial constraints. Coupled with dual incomes in some cases, these advantages provide a more secure financial foundation, allowing couples to save and invest for the future.

How Policies and Regulations Affect Living Together

Military service has strict policies that affect where and how couples live. These rules provide structure but also create unique challenges for maintaining family life.

Joint Assignments and the Exception Policy

Joint assignments let military couples serve at the same location. But, this depends on several factors. Both spouses need to meet rank and job requirements. If one spouse has a highly specialized role, it’s harder to match assignments. The Needs of the Service always come first. When operational demands are high, the military might not prioritize placing couples together.

The Exception Policy offers flexibility. If a joint assignment isn’t possible, couples can request exceptions. These are case-by-case and not guaranteed. For instance, if one spouse’s skills are in critical demand, an exception might place them nearby instead of together. Also, exceptions often require higher-level approvals, adding another layer of complexity.

Future Trends in Military Family Stationing

Military policies evolve to better support families. Remote work and flexible stationing are trends that might impact military couples. If more roles allow remote work, couples could live together more frequently. For example, a desk job could operate remotely, enabling couples to stay together even though different assignments.

Technological advances also play a role. Enhanced communication tools make long-distance relationships more manageable, reducing some burdens. But, the primary focus remains on operational effectiveness. Any future changes to policies will balance family support with mission readiness.


Exploring life as a military couple presents unique challenges, but understanding the policies and resources available can make a significant difference. While separation is often unavoidable, the military’s efforts to support families through joint assignments and the Exception Policy demonstrate a commitment to balancing duty with personal lives.

Stay informed about evolving policies and leverage technology to maintain strong connections. By doing so, you can better manage the demands of military life while fostering a supportive and stable relationship.


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